Sometimes, it feels like your (negative) thoughts are stuck in an endless loop. You analyze, ruminate, and try to predict every possible outcome—without actually finding a solution. The more you try to stop your thoughts, the stronger they seem to push back. Fortunately, overthinking and worrying aren’t inevitable. Completely stopping overthinking is unrealistic (more on that later), but you can learn to step out of the mental chaos and create more peace in your mind.
Why Can’t You Stop Overthinking?
As humans, we like to believe we have control over everything—that we can shape our lives exactly as we want. While our choices do influence certain aspects of life, this is only a small part of the bigger picture.
So Much Is Beyond Our Control
Life isn’t entirely in our hands. You didn’t choose the environment you were born into, the genetic makeup that influences your personality, sensitivities, and health, or the circumstances you grew up in.
The Brain Favors Negative Thoughts
On top of that, our brains are wired to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones—a phenomenon known as the negativity bias.
For our ancestors, remembering danger was a survival mechanism. If they weren’t hyper-aware of threats, they wouldn’t have lived long enough to pass on their genes. Even today, our brains continuously scan for potential dangers, making it easier to dwell on worries than on positive experiences.
What Can You Do If You Overthink Too Much?
When your brain perceives something as negative, your attention is instantly drawn to it. You start worrying. And if there’s no immediate solution, your brain keeps searching—leading to overthinking.
The more you get stuck in this cycle of thoughts, the deeper the “worry groove” in your brain becomes, making it harder to notice the good things in life.
Can You Turn Off Your Thoughts?
There’s no way to completely stop worrying. Whether it’s about your relationships, work, or something you said earlier today, concerns are part of being human.
However, you can learn to recognize your thought patterns and gently shift your focus. By doing this repeatedly, you activate different parts of your brain, weakening the overthinking habit over time.
What People Get Wrong: Why Are We So Bad at Self-Care and Self-Compassion?
5 Steps to Overthink Less
How to break free from the endless cycle of overthinking? While you can’t eliminate overthinking entirely, the following steps will help you disengage from it and regain mental clarity.
1. Acknowledge Your Brain’s Good Intentions
Recognize that your brain is trying to protect you. Thinking is a tool designed to solve problems and keep you safe. But excessive worrying only leaves you feeling stressed, anxious, and restless. Your brain’s “danger detection system” is overactive—but its intentions are good.
Try saying to yourself: Thank you for trying to protect me. I see that you’re looking out for me.
2. Allow Your Feelings to Exist
Worrying often comes with feelings of anxiety, stress, or unease—emotions you’d rather not feel. Many people don’t even notice their underlying emotions because they’re so caught up in their thoughts. Instead of resisting these feelings, practice allowing them to be there.
As the saying goes: What you resist, persists. Rather than fighting your emotions, try saying: It’s okay. Let me just feel this anxiety (or stress, or unease).
3. Respond with Kindness
Bring a sense of kindness to your emotions. Placing a hand on your heart or wherever you feel tension can be incredibly soothing. Research shows that touch releases oxytocin, sending signals of care and comfort to your brain.
Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings with compassion: I hear you. I feel your pain or sadness. I’m here for you.
4. Explore Your Feelings and Give Yourself What You Need
Ask yourself: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Does it suggest that you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve happiness? Are you afraid of being overwhelmed by your emotions if you fully acknowledge them?
Gently ask yourself: What do I need right now? Maybe you need love, reassurance, or simply a moment of calm. Take the time to offer yourself those things.
You can say: May I feel peaceful and at ease. May I be free from fear. May I show myself compassion, even in difficult moments.
5. Repeat These Steps as a Practice
Think of this as an ongoing practice, not a one-time fix. Your thoughts are allowed to be there. You can meet them with compassion and provide yourself with what you need.
We All Worry—You’re Not Alone
No matter what you’re worrying about, you’re not the only one. Thousands of people have the same concerns as you. Vulnerability is part of being human.
When you’re anxious, it’s easy to feel alone. But remind yourself that everyone deals with worries and struggles. Talking about your thoughts helps break that isolation. In psychology, this is known as common humanity—the idea that we’re all in this together.
A Mindfulness Exercise to Reduce Overthinking
Research shows that mindfulness helps break the cycle of negative thoughts—whether you’re overthinking your relationship, work, or simply feeling overwhelmed. The goal isn’t to stop thoughts but to recognize them for what they are: just thoughts.
A review of multiple studies on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) found that mindfulness meditation helps prevent people from getting swept away by negative thoughts, stress, and intense emotions.
To start, try simple mindfulness exercises like a body scan or a breathing meditation. With practice, you’ll find it easier to step back from overthinking and approach your thoughts with clarity and kindness.
Image: Rakicevic Nenad
