We all think. Some of us more than others, but everyone has thoughts that pop up now and then, distracting us from our tasks, making us feel happy or sad, or simply being there. The question is: what do you do when those thoughts start racing through your mind and make you feel anxious?

When thoughts are racing through your mind, it’s usually not in a cheerful, vibrant way. One critical thought follows another, and before you know it, you’ve ended up in a negative spiral you can’t seem to get out of. First of all, it’s good to know you’re not alone. Research shows everyone can experience racing thoughts.

Often, we try to stop the thinking altogether, distract ourselves by scrolling through our social feeds, or block certain thoughts by pushing them away. That might work for a while, but in the long run they often come back louder. It’s a temporary trick, not a sustainable solution.

On top of that, when it all piles up and we feel overwhelmed, we tend to blame or judge ourselves for it. But feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re failing, it only shows you care about something or someone.

How do I stop my mind from racing?

A science-backed way to interrupt the negative thoughts and bring yourself back to emotional balance is self-compassion. Not to turn away, but to stay present with what hurts, without getting stuck in a negative spiral. Studies show that practicing self-compassion helps you cope better with stress, experience less anxiety and depression, and become more resilient.

Researcher and psychologist Kristin Neff describes it as giving yourself the same kindness and support you’d offer a good friend. That might sound easy – and in a way, it is – but being compassionate toward yourself also takes practice. And it’s through that very practice that you gradually rewire your mindset, replacing vicious cycles with positive ones.

Self-compassion involves three key elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. You can practice self-compassion by following these steps based on each of these elements:

1. Be aware of your racing thoughts

You can’t interrupt your mind from racing without being aware of it. Sometimes we don’t even notice what’s going on because we’re so caught up in our thoughts. So it’s important to notice signs, like a tightness in your chest or a sudden drop in your mood.

Instead of resisting your thoughts and feelings, practice allowing them to be there. Acknowledge you’re getting into a negative spiral and tell yourself it’s okay to feel this way. This awareness creates space between you and your thoughts.

2. Be kind towards yourself

When we’re anxious or overwhelmed, we often criticise ourselves for it. We tell ourselves ‘I shouldn’t have done that,’ ‘I always mess things up’, or ‘I’ll never be good enough.’

So, only awareness and space doesn’t make sense when you don’t fill it with kindness. Research shows that self-kindness reduces stress and increases emotional resilience.

Tell yourself this is hard right now, and you’re doing the best you can. Try placing a hand on your heart or wherever you feel tension. Science shows a self-compassionate touch can be a way to support yourself when you’re feeling anxious.

3. Remind yourself you’re not alone

Moments of doubt, pain, or failure are a normal part of life. We all experience them. Acknowledging this shared humanity helps us see our own struggles as a natural part of being human and, in a way, connects us with others.

4. Ask yourself what you need

Self-compassion is about giving yourself what you need in the present moment. After completing the three steps, end your practice by asking yourself what you need right now. Maybe it’s a gentle push in the right direction, maybe it’s going for a walk, maybe it’s taking a nap.

Also read: How to ground yourself when you’re overwhelmed

You can’t stop thoughts from popping up in your mind, but you can choose how to respond, preventing yourself from feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Self-compassion helps transform your relationship with your thoughts and with yourself.

With practice, you learn to pause, soften, and give yourself what you need when your thoughts are racing.

As Kristin Neff says: “Compassionate presence opens you up and generates positive emotions. You acknowledge the negative ones but you don’t identify with them.”

More exercises: 5 self-compassion exercises for a calm mind

Credits image: Anya Chernykh